continuation

Finally the loss of loved ones to death .Here also there are degrees of grief .If it is a ancestor say father or mother so old


that it would'nt be cruel to describe them as having one foot in the grave,the grief is brief.Yes the physical presence is missed ,more so their timely wise suggestions and advise borne out of experience .Here also what is missed is their guidance.Nobody thinks such a person generally in 80's could have lived few more years enjoying life for itself.
Then comes the harshest grief of all-losing one's child.Yudhishtra when asked by a yaksha testing his credentials to the tittle of Dharma putra as to what was the worst sorrow of all , replied 'putrasoka' i.e losing one's children to death.This reply satisfied the yaksha.
Yes, to lose a young son at the threshold of a huge vista of life ,who has not tasted the pleasures of married life being denied the pleasure of hearing the sweet babble of his children or the thrill of feeling like a monarch whilst over coming minor day to day battles at work place ,in quest of money and fame and lending a strong shoulder to his aged parents when they lose their strengh making them feel wanted and secure, is a grief unimaginable by parents. The very thought is horrific and if one has to actually endure this in life ,it is the pinnacle of all grief.
Here too, is there an element of selfishness ? The sheer denial of the physical presense of the offspring is the most unbearable part of the grief.Is he missed because his presence which equated to unasked for but taken as granted, support both physically and morally is denied?Is it the feeling of loneliness created suddenly by this vaccum in one's life that enhances one's sorrow?

It is easy to intellectualise but the emotions one is assailled of at the thought of the irreversible finalityof the loss and the memory of the lost son which is so real like as if he is sitting in his favourite chair and is smiling at me and laughing with me and that I just have to stretch a bit to touch but when I do he is not there ,so near yet so far ,is decidedly difficult to surmount.

Each to one's own grief.