Dear Jude
Why this despondency in one so young?You seem to have had some unpleasant brushes with the opposite gender.Vidat too had ,with some of his colleagues with disastrous effects.It is ironical because he was chivalrous and had great respect for women.
I can understand your plight but I happen to be on the other side of the divide hence it is but natural that I take cudgels on behalf of my gender and showcase the conditions of women as it exists in India.
Now to answer your questions:
1.Purpose of marriage is---- for progeny and company.
2 .Purpose of life:----Probably to provide entertainment to the creator !
3 .Emotional quotient: In my experience most men I have come across are equal or even more emotionally stronger than women. Women enjoy the luxury of displaying their grief etc publicly whilst societal conditioning inhibits men from doing so.
4.Chivalry: If a man [father,brother,husband or son] likes a woman and has deep attachment towards her he will be automatically protective and chivalrous.It can't be wrested out of him forcibly.
Vidat was naturally protective and very considerate towards me. I neither asked nor demanded it out of him.
5.Laws regarding emotional damage: They do exist.One can file defamation suits for slander, imprison anyone for abetting suicide and seek remedies under Domestic violence Act in case of emotional abuse perpetrated within a household.
3 comments:
Dear Aunty,
I've been lauded, admired, referred to and sometimes even teased/mocked for being chivalrous. I grew up thinking women were the better sex and were extremely pure and good people only to realize there were equally good/bad as men. I have great respect for them, I admire their strengths and I try to notice their weakness and support them if needed. BUT, that doesn't make me blind of reality. I have no hatred towards them whatsoever. I'm ONLY trying to make people realize the fact that many "want to treated as equal to men", yet "want to be given special treatment" as well. I only ask why?
A friend of mine asked me this, "If a woman has no shame in kicking a man where it hurts him the most, what is wrong if he returns her the same treatment?". I know women use it as a technique to defend themselves. Why? Because she is physically weaker than man.
Now look at the contrast, most men are emotionally weaker than women. If a woman tries to defend her by her emotions and abuse a man, can he defend himself by using his physical strength? There are many instances where women have used their emotions to their advantage. I hope you get my drift.
"A tear from a woman is 100 times more powerful than a 22 inch biceps of a man".
Now confronting your answers:
1. Purpose of marriage : I agree. But I tend to believe, we live in a modern world with modern thoughts of love and relationships. Morals and ethics are thrown into the dustbin and all people care is about survival at any means. Procreation is another reason for marriage, but before I agree on that, I need to make sure the world is a safe place for my children. It does scare me a little bit to even think that I would have to bring in "innocent" little souls and teach them selfishness "just" to survive at any cost? How many people are finding it easy to live a truthful life nowadays?
2. Purpose of life: from my research purpose of life is to procreate. Everything else is surrounding that. But, haven't people lived beautiful lives without the need to procreate? Entertaining the creator was your answer. Does god love people suffering in pain? What pleasure does he get by putting some of us through misery? I'm not ready to take "to appreciate happiness" as an answer.
3. I'm glad you've met men who are emotionally stronger. I would like to present a similar argument. I've seen some women who are physically stronger than men. It doesn't change the fact that "in general" men are physically strong, women are emotionally strong. If women expect men to treat them properly, then I only urge women to realize that men MAY NOT be emotionally as strong as they are. THEY should learn to treat a man with more concern and respect. I guess it's time to say, "Is this how you treat a man?".
4. I've been chivalrous to friends and sometimes even strangers. I do realize that women aren't safe in this society where some men act like animals. I take it as my responsibility to protect them without ANY KIND of favor in return. So are many other men, is it wrong for me to voice for them "that they might be emotionally weak"?
5. Laws do exist. But can we exercise these laws with ease? Recently I came across a girl who used two boys to finish her homework/project in school. Her sweet little talk when she needed help and her contrasting rude behavior after the semester got over left one of my close friends deeply hurt. I blamed him for letting himself be used, but then can any law protect him? If a woman goes with a man to a movie and if he physically abuses her there are laws which can punish him. But do we blame her for going out with him?
I'm perfectly fine :) I research a lot about life and I empathize with a lot of people, so I tend to speak up for things which usually go unnoticed or ignored.
Take care!
Dear Jude
Got your point.
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